Your cart
Close Alternative Icon

Ultimate Valentines for Your Discnificant Other

Arrow Thin Left Icon Arrow Thin Right Icon
Pick up your ultimate hunny and look good doing it with these patented Five Ultimate Valentines, sure to win hearts and universe points everywhere. From naughty to nice, these one-liners are perfect for your Soulmultimate, your BFF (best friend in frisbee), your Discnificant Other, or your lifelong Honey Point. Go forth and love freely this Valentine's Day. 

Disclaimer: Five Ultimate does not guarantee success and is not at fault if you get rejected using our zingers. Our hearts are with you, though.

Subscribe to our email newsletter at the bottom of this page to get access to two additional exclusives Valentines, and get info on how to score a Valentine from us! 


Psssst! There is it! Right down there, just scroll a tiny bit more! Put your email in that lil' box right there and you'll unlock two bonus, EXCLUSIVE valentines that are GUARANTEED* to seal the deal, AND tell you how to get a free Valentine gift from us. Just sayin'.
*Not guaranteed in any legal sense of the word.